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Ben Behrouzi

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Ben Behrouzi & The Most Fashionable Rumors Online

 

rumorsBen Behrouzi And The Most Fashionable Rumors Online

 

Hi, I’m Ben Behrouzi, and you should probably get the popcorn right now. And don’t forget the butter. Below are the most recent and most fashionable rumors about me online. I try to update the list as frequently as possible but I may be a bit behind, so I do apologize in advance.

As you may already know its a brave new world out there with web 2.0. Actually, its crazy! Not only has web 2.0 given life to constructive user generated content, which is why we Love it by the way, but its also given life to anyone with a keyboard with a lot of free time on their hands aiming to get some darn good old fashioned attention. Here are some examples :

Google Sucks. Do a Google on “Google Sucks” and you’ll find all sorts of neat “journalism” and goodies. So does Google suck? I don’t think so. Should you stop using Google? This ones a tough one, moving on…

steve-jobs-heart-attackSteve Jobs Heart Attack Rumor. Just recently someone special posted that Steve Jobs had a heart attack. As a result Apple took a 10% stock price plunge that day!! That’s not cool! Say it with me, that’s “Craaaaazy”. So did he really have a heart attack? No. Did he have an anxiety attack? No. Was there any uncomfortably in the chest area? No. How about after the stock plunge? Probably. Where is the trigger happy guy with the keyboard now? Probably in timeout.

So what’s the point? The point is the Internet has the tabloids, funny papers and TMZ too. Enjoy…

 

Ben Behrouzi And The Most Fashionable Rumors Online

 

Rumor # 1 : Ben Behrouzi Was Fired From One of The Companies he Co-Founded, Reply! (Reply.com)

 

Ahhhh, nothing like the scent of lies and propaganda in the morning.

False. I co-founded Reply! at the age of 20 and lead the development of technology and products over the course of 6 years. As scheduled, I left at the close of 2006 to expand from lead generation and build new Internet Companies. I remain as one of the largest shareholders and supporters of my company.

By the way the individual that was the “source” of this rumor was fired a long time ago before I left for use and abuse of alcohol on the job. The blogger that posted this lie and many others won’t update his content and threatens to scream “Free Speech” if he is forced to update his site.

 

Rumor # 2 : Ben Behrouzi is a Bully and Dislikes Bloggers

 

False. I love bloggers! In fact one of our divisions, iHype.com, pays bloggers to write about new products and services online (one of our “Evil” services..). What I do despise are blog mobsters and those that use blogs as a means to bully others. “Freeze! Or I’ll Blog About You” is the phrase that comes to mind while they hide behind the banner of “We are exercising our free speech rights”. Actually you’re committing defamation.

By the way here some of the top blog mobster personas documented by our expert friend in defamation law : http://www.cybertriallawyer.com/defamation-lawyers

 

Rumor # 3 : Ben Behrouzi Regretfully Left an Ugly Voicemail

 

With regret, the voicemail is true. I was 22 or 23 with an immense amount of pressure from bankers, investors and our operations, and probably too much testosterone. However, the context is false!

Rogue engineers and blog mobsters alike tend to tell you only a fraction of the story. The engineer in that call had intoxicated himself with alcohol on the job, sabotaged the live production environment, stolen $200k in tech equipment and never returned a call from his 4 managers. After 2 kind calls from me and the local authorities at his home, he finally responded to my angry message.

Nevertheless, I apologized to him when we recovered the equipment and I have never ever used another phone ever since! If you want to reach me you’ll need to send me snail mail.

 

Rumor # 4 : Ben Behrouzi Sued a Blogger to Stop His Free Speech

 

False. We sued not a blogger, but a single individual, who was seriously defaming our company to get attention for himself. Godfather himself would be proud. The case was reviewed by both lawyers, the individual’s response was heard and without getting into the details of the settlement, the individual posted a letter of retraction.

Take a look at a different case and the reality of this problem facing the legal system : http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2006-10-10-internet-defamation-case_x.htm

 

Rumor # 5 : Ben Behrouzi is Against Free Speech and Believes All Use of Language Should be Banned.

 

False, but interesting. I guess you could install some sort of shock device that injected tons of electricity when one spoke…hmmm….I think I found our next product! Ahh isn’t innovation swell!

Actually, I am a strong proponent of responsible free speech, but I am against the hijacking of this great right to attack others via blogs. I’ve been attacked, harassed, stalked, threatened and much more all over the Internet.

 

Rumor # 6 : Ben Behrouzi Has Sex With His Mother and Has a Sexual Fascination For Small Monkeys.

 

Uhhh, False. I know its crazy, but believe it or not somebody has posted this accusation online. Can anyone say Freudian slip?

 

Rumor # 7 : Ben Behrouzi is a Spammer And Supports Shill Comments Online

 

False. Actually I don’t like the taste of spam so I don’t sell it. As far as shill comments, we have a large sales force that has performance based compensation. But we’ve put in some serious measures! Every single day we beat the sales force with bamboo sticks and have them listen to very depressing music so that they never ever write anything positive about where they work. Ever. Sometimes we do get a fast and loose one, but we stick them in the basement with a red stapler almost immediately.

 

Rumor # 8 : Ben Behrouzi is a Meany.

 

If you are against the notion that owning a keyboard must precede with a license, then yes I’m a meany. Actually one of my nick names is “teddy bear.”

 

Rumor # 9 : Ben Behrouzi Engages in Cyber-squatting

 

False. I’ve never squatted over anything cyber related in my life, kind of impossible. Unless some weird iPhone app comes out, hmm… But I have purchased domains that are of interest to me.

 

Rumor # 10 : Ben Behrouzi And Company are Greedy

 

If by greedy we mean that our companies have produced hundreds of new jobs, killer health and dental benefits, given hundreds of thousands of dollars back to communities, hosted awesome ping pong tournaments all while building awesome services, then yes we are greedy.

 

Rumor # 11 : Ben Behrouzi Plays Ping Pong All Day Instead of Putting Investor Money to Work.

 

False. We play ping pong all day and all night.

 

Rumor # 12 : Ben Behrouzi And Company Are in The Business of Click Fraud.

 

“A click click here, a click click there, here a click, there a click, everywhere a click click.” This is our motto and in fact this is what we chant at Monday morning meetings every week. And actually, we are thinking of releasing a Christmas CD this year! We’re so excited!!

 

When you have a large sale force, sometimes you get some loose canons. But in no way shape or form does the act of one individual suggest that the entire company supports, endorses and promotes such silly activity. But there is no point for the tabloids to point that out, it wouldn’t sell! Sing with me, a click click here, a click click there…